


Altered Universe: A Set of Zayn Malik Ficlets

by Regarklipop



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Batman - Freeform, Drabble Set, F/M, M/M, Magic, Multi, Multiple Pairings, Zayn-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-04
Updated: 2014-10-10
Packaged: 2018-02-19 20:57:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 8,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2402630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Regarklipop/pseuds/Regarklipop
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A set of 18 small ficlets centering around or involving Zayn. They all take place in wildly different AU scenarios, oftentimes with a romantic tilt. All of the boys will be involved :)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Zayn/Niall - Florist AU

**Author's Note:**

  * For [autopsyofwebs](https://archiveofourown.org/users/autopsyofwebs/gifts).



> This is a set of 18 drabbles that serve as both a belated gift for Letsgetsomecake's birthday and as a thank you to her for beta-ing a long fic that I have in the works that will hopefully be posted sometime this month.
> 
> Most of the drabbles in here are ones that I love the ideas for but don't have the time/energy to turn into actual long fics (this may change at a later date) or that I think just work better as short pieces. The majority of them are 200-500 words (a target I set myself). They all have Zayn in them (although he's not always the main character), and the majority have pairings attached, but 5, 10, and 15 are all Zayn-centric sans others. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy :)

Niall passes by the flower shop on the way home from class nearly every day, enjoying the sweet scent of the flowers and trying to, hopefully, subtly look in the large front windows. 

It didn’t used to be this way. It used to be that he passed by the shop maybe twice a month; now he goes out of his way to walk by here twice a day because there is a feckin’ gorgeous lad who runs the shop and Niall is mad because he shouldn’t be spiraling like this over a florist. 

But he is.

Today, the bloke is wearing floral trousers (there’s always a floral something) and a sweater with Captain America's shield done in floral print. His tattoos peak out from just underneath his sweater (mostly flowers), and his hair lies flat and unstyled. Niall wants to weave flowers in it, as though his life is some sort of coming of age movie.

He tries not to lurk, but considering the front of the shop is nothing but windows, Niall shouldn't be surprised that the lad looks up and locks eyes with him, eventually waving at Niall. 

Fuck.

Niall feels his entire body heat up, knows his face is bright red, but he stops and waves back. Instead of inviting him inside though (which would only further Niall's embarrassment over being caught), the guy ducks behind the counter, standing back up with a large piece of card.

“My name’s Zayn” followed by enough digits to be his phone number, all done in flowers and petals that must have fallen off various flowers in the shop.

Niall’s grin feels wide enough to crack his cheeks, he's a little in love.


	2. Zayn/Niall - Badly Made Food

“So what’dya think about it?” Niall’s looking at him so expectantly, and Zayn’s not sure whether it would be worse to swallow what he’s got in his mouth or just keep his tongue far, far away from it and excuse himself to the toilet. 

Zayn always tries to be encouraging whenever Niall wants to know more about Anglo-Pakistani culture, but the Rogan Josh that is currently sitting in front of Zayn is beyond eating. It’s a bit disturbing too, because Zayn knows that Niall can cook, so he has no idea what happened here. 

(Probably a white person’s recipe, which makes no sense because Zayn knows his mum would have loved to help Niall out and she has his Daadi’s recipes memorized). 

Looking up at Niall’s face though, at the hope and cheerfulness on it, there’s pretty much only one answer he can give, so he chokes down the curry, looks back at Niall and says:

“It’s great babe, thanks for the surprise,” and promises himself he’ll phone his mum and Daadi for a couple's cooking lesson if he lives through the rest of the plate.


	3. Zayn/Louis: Cloud Sprite

Thunderclouds have never been Zayn’s favourite clouds to whip up as they are highly temperamental and prone to bucking Zayn off his seat in the clouds. He just wants to sleep, honestly, but duty calls and rain is always needed somewhere in Zayn's piece of sky. 

It’s easy to pluck two pieces of condensed air from the cloud he’s sitting on, easily rolling the two together and watching as the colour deepens and the personality increases (as much as a cloud can have a personality). Around him, the air shifts as dense humid air flows in rapidly from the ground far, far below. Zayn yelps as he’s suddenly dumped backwards, his earlier predictions coming true as the cloud gets bigger and more annoyed. It means a big storm for everyone on the ground tonight. 

The storm also means an appearance by-

A loud clap of thunder sounds bare moments after lightning lights up the bottom of Zayn’s cloud, the electricity sending shivers up his spine. There’s suddenly a presence beside him that hauls him up from where the cloud bumped him earlier. Mischievous chuckles make the storm rage louder and the thunder roll. Louis’ face is lit up as he cackles and kisses Zayn, dipping him before dropping Zayn back onto his cloud, jumping off to go cause more mischief.

Zayn's lips tingle and he knows his hair is standing on end from the other sprite's kiss. There are certainly some good things about storms.


	4. Zayn/Harry: Favourite Fruit

Harry’s always thought that bananas were the most sexual fruit, but watching Zayn slowly take apart a seeded grape has him crossing his legs and frowning in the wall’s direction. It’s a problem because he knows how Zayn’s mouth feels, and watching him delicately make his way around the grape, gently sucking seeds out before pulling the whole thing into his mouth was nearly Pavlovian at this point. 

He thinks it can’t get much worse, but then Zayn reaches for the strawberries and Harry has to live through the agony of Zayn’s lips going red and shiny from the juice and Harry thinks that he’s never ever bringing fruit home again because making experimental smoothies has so far led to nothing but problems for Harry. He hasn't even noticed that the banana in his hand has exploded from the pressure on it. 

“Problem babe?” Zayn asks, as though Harry’s dick hasn’t been rock hard for ten minutes. The strangled groan he lets out makes Zayn laugh, and Harry’s had enough. 

“I’m going to kiss you now, and then I would like to shag, if that’s okay with you,” Zayn’s snickers and nod are interrupted by Harry near tackling him. 

Harry spending nearly half their food money on fruit might be worth it, Zayn thinks, if a little bit of teasing gets him this riled up.

"We're bringing the strawberries."


	5. Zayn: Based on HTTYD

Zayn’s been afraid of heights for as long as he can remember; so when the dragons return and he finds himself sort-of owner slash partner of one particularly stubborn one, he’s not quite sure what to do. 

He tries to encourage the dragon (he hasn’t named it, scared of becoming too attached) to fly on it’s own but, like a duckling, it won’t go anywhere without Zayn. From following along behind him whenever he goes down to the docks to fish, to tagging along with him into the forest, Zayn hasn’t had a moment of peace since the day the dragon chose him. 

Eventually he has to face the facts that the dragon is not leaving and Zayn has no choice but to try and get the thing to fly without him. It goes about as well as bargaining with a thousand pound reptile that breathes fire can. 

“Look, um, dragon,” the dragon perks up, waking up from the doze that the quiet forest had lulled it into (after following Zayn on what was supposed to be a solitary walk). “I know that you expect me to fly with you… but I can’t. I really, really can’t. I have a fear of, um, heights.” 

The toothy grin it had given Zayn fades as it tilts it’s head to the side in confusion. Zayn has to admit the dragon is extremely cute. It’s plump, green, and happy and Zayn would love to stay with it more than anything but he can’t because dragons need to be able to fly and Zayn can’t. 

He yelps in surprise and disgust when the dragon licks him from shin to head before gently picking Zayn up and putting him on it’s back, giving Zayn's head a pat with its chin. It shakes itself, as though in preparation to-

“No, wait!” and Zayn’s desperate to escape, to avoid going into the air, but instead of beating its wings, the dragon starts running along the forest floor, winding around trees far quicker than it looks like it should be able to. Zayn’s protests fall into the wind, and he can’t help but start laughing, leaning into the dragon’s neck to avoid tree branches as the dragon picks up speed. Zayn thinks this must be what flying feels like.

He clearly needs to find a name for his dragon.


	6. Zayn/Harry: Fanny Pack

“No.” 

Harry’s just about to sit down to pull his shoes on when his boyfriend stops him in his tracks. Zayn already looks pretty grumpy, Harry is forcing him to go on a walk after all, but Harry is going to stand-by his decision. 

“I am wearing it whether you like it or not. It’s vintage,” Harry tightens the strap of his fanny-pack (the name alone makes him giggle) as he gives Zayn his most determined look. Just to really annoy him, Harry pulls his white socks all the way up his shins before sitting down and pulling his shoes over.

“It’s just one big fashion disaster love, it’s not vintage. Please take off the pack?” And Harry does have to admit that the neon green pouch isn’t the most attractive thing he owns, but he’s definitely wearing it for practical purposes. He laces his trainers on and stands up.

“Where am I supposed to keep the lube then?” Zayn blinks, and Harry pecks him on the lips as he opens the front door.

“You never know when you might need lube, babe. Especially since we’re going through that really empty part of the park.” He waggles his eyebrows and laughs as a scowl-y Zayn pushes him out the door, muttering about how Harry better make it worth his while if he's getting fucked in the forest.


	7. Zayn/Liam/Veronica: Jewellery Designer

When Zayn’s father had asked him to take over his jewellery making business, the last thing Zayn had expected was for Duke Payne to come into his quaint shop asking for a custom commission for his bride-to-be Veronica. 

“I know I’m cutting it close with the wedding two weeks away, but we’ve yet to secure our third and I want to ensure that she knows I can still support her,” He’s looking far too nervous for a man too close to the Royal Line to have to worry about providing emotional and financial support, but when Zayn asks him for a picture of Veronica to work off of, he lights up. 

“Her favourite colour is blue, and she likes nothing too close to her throat,” Zayn’s looking down at the delicate watercolour that outlines a lovely woman, dark brown curls tumbling down her face and bright brown eyes filled with mischief. It’s completely inappropriate how his heart skips.

“I’ll do my absolute best.”

When the couple come back the day before their wedding, Zayn has already seen Liam six additional times. The man is a stickler for perfection, but had been kind enough, at least, to always bring Zayn a token to help the process along. Flowers to inspire him, various foodstuffs to keep his energy up, and a new wool sweater, bizarrely, when he’d mentioned the cooling whether.

Veronica is just as gorgeous as the picture, and the adoring way Duke Payne looks at his future Duchess (even after she’d goosed him with a wicked smirk, surprising Zayn just as much as Liam) makes them look like one of the most beautiful couples Zayn’s ever seen. 

“Oh this is absolutely magnificent, Mr. Malik,” Lady Veronica says, causing Zayn's face to heat up. He's created a truly beautiful set: A necklace that’s much closer to a sculpture with the way the filigree and leaves come together, picked out with blue topaz, diamonds, and sapphires here and there, emphasizing the simple earrings and bracelet. The two had been in awe over the set since Zayn had opened the box it was in. 

Liam helps remove Veronica’s overcoat, and the contrast between his broad hands and her shoulders has Zayn swallowing air, especially with the way Liam brushes some of her hair back behind her ear. The Duke beckons Zayn over to help put the necklace on Veronica, and she stands between the two of them with a smirk on her face as Zayn passes the clasps to Liam, palms sweaty, his breath hitching when Liam’s hand grasps on to his with an intense gaze. When Zayn looks down at Veronica she shares the same look.

Zayn doesn’t know what to think.

They get Veronica into her jewellery and she looks near divine. The awe on both Zayn and Liam’s faces makes her giggle, Liam only just managing to shake himself out of it to turn to Zayn.

“Are the studs I ordered finished as well, Mr. Malik?” Liam had asked Zayn during his third visit to make a set of studs that Zayn might wear, as he had a close cousin with similar tastes. They're sitting on the desk in a small box that he opens for the Duke and future Duchess, who both nod in agreement.

“We should, I think, make our intentions clear to you Zayn,” Veronica states as she delicately plucks one of the studs out of the box before passing it to Liam and moving into Zayn’s space. when she gestures with the earring at him, he's completely confused, but nods to her.

“Liam is usually quite happy to make his intentions clear, but obviously you’ve flustered him if he’s lied about the gifts that we've given you this week. I’d like to clarify by saying we’d love to take you on as our third, and that the reason, aside from your talent, for choosing your shop is the fact that Liam's father was acquainted with yours. I don't know if you recall meeting Liam when you were six, but he apparently fell in love with you and has managed to stay relatively on top of your interests and life.” Veronica carefully slides the back onto the stud, then reaches back to a brilliantly red Liam who hands her the other one. 

“Obviously we’ll be going through courtship first. Liam was a little sloppy with the initial show of interest, but now we’d love to make it an overt courting. With your consent of course,” she slides the backing onto the other earring, patting Zayn’s chest as she steps back. She lets Liam take off her jewellery as Zayn continues to stand wide-eyed and confused. 

They give him until Liam is helping Veronica slide her coat back on again. 

“If you aren’t sure, of course you’re more than welcome to send a letter when you’ve made your decision,” Liam’s face is soft when he gives Zayn an out. Zayn’s in shock, but he knows his decision.

“No, I’d, um, I’d like to give it a shot, but I just want to make sure you feel comfortable about it,” He's looking at Veronica, who smiles warmly back.

"From the amount I've heard about you Zayn, I'd be more than happy to get properly acquainted. I've a deep feeling you and I will get along swimmingly and to Liam's daily misfortune." Her smirk makes Zayn laugh.

"Okay, let's try it," The smiles they give him make his stomach float. 

“We’ll see you at the wedding tomorrow then, we’ll send a carriage” and they leave the shop after turning Zayn’s life upside-down.


	8. Zayn/Liam: Magical family kidfic

“Adeela love, you need to stop levitating your brother’s cereal and get your clothes on,” Adeela knows her baba is trying to get her excited about going to magic school, but it’s hard when he’s been a very diligent baba and has made sure that he and Adeela always read magic books from all over the place before he puts her to bed. She crosses her arms and looks up at her father’s laughing eyes making sure her frown is extra big while she waits for retribution.

It takes no time at all before her baba’s hands swing in on both sides, her laughter echoing through the house as he tickles his eleven year old until she’s begging to get changed and brush her teeth. Her laughter has also set off her baby brother's giggles.

“‘ba!” Warid is attempting to eat and clap at the same time, resulting in Cheerios everywhere but his mouth. Zayn smiles as he hustles Adeela off to her bedroom before swooping in and pressing kisses all-over the top of Warid’s head. Zayn tries to help him finish the rest of his Cheerios, but the little boy is wiggling too much for Zayn to do anything but wipe his face and take off his bib. 

“You’re a bad-man aren’t you love?” He grins as Warid picks up Zayn’s necklace and tries to eat it.

“Unfortunately that’s not cereal, so it’s not quite so good,” he balances Warid on one arm as he carefully pulls his necklace out of the baby’s hands. He should’ve learned by now not to bother with jewellery. 

Liam slides into the kitchen just as Zayn is trying to clean-off the high chair and hold onto a squirmy, gummy child at the same time. He drops a kiss on Zayn’s cheek. 

“I heard Adeela in the bathroom so I wasn’t sure if you needed back-up or not,” Liam’s got the wash cloth out of his husband’s hands as Zayn tucks the Warid into the crook of his neck, humming a little. 

It’s quiet in the kitchen for a bit as Liam finishes cleaning the breakfast table. The water in the bathroom is off now, meaning Adeela is packing the last of her trunk for the journey with the snacks that Liam and her had made together. 

Zayn smiles as his husband steps in front of him, lifting his head from a dozing Warid’s back so he can meet Liam’s kiss, sighing softly as his hand moves up and down on his baby boy's sleepy back. It’s tough to find moments like this when it always feels so busy.

“Kissing! Gross!” Apparently Adeela’s plenty ready for school now, and Zayn chuckles as she stands in the kitchen door, nearly cursing as he checks the time. They’ll miss the train if they don’t hurry up.


	9. Zayn/Louis: Inception

Zayn nibbles at his bottom lip as he checks his watch, straining to hear the squealing of tires that signal Louis’ late but well received pick-up. Zayn knows their extractor had been shot early on in the job, but Louis had stepped in with no qualms about manipulating the shit out of their target to get what he wanted. What it did mean, however, is that Zayn was the one who had to go in with a half-baked forge and hope it was enough to seduce and philander his way into their mark’s good graces, then bedroom, giving Louis enough time to drive across the sizable estate on a golf-cart before coming back to get Zayn in a vehicle that was (hopefully) better equipped for get-away drives and shoot-outs.

The heavy roar of an engine heralds the appearance of a van that could not be more obvious than if Louis had found a tank to drive. The bright orange “Mystery Machine” that stripes down the sides has Zayn with his head in his hands as Louis kicks the passenger side door open. 

“Come on bad boy, get in or you’re out of the band.” It’s a scramble to get into the passenger seat, but once Zayn’s in and the door is shut, Louis’ foot slams on the gas while he throws the car into gear. They shoot forward faster than a vehicle of this size should, but Zayn isn’t at all surprised about it. Louis’ the one who imagined it.

“You know we aren’t actually in a band right?” Louis rolls his eyes, carefully checking his mirrors for any sign of pursuit.

“‘So how did the extraction go, Louis?’ Just fine, thanks for asking. After that legendary cock-up got himself shot out of his own plan and left his forger and architect to cover for him.” The look Louis shoots Zayn could strip paint, but Zayn can only laugh.

“We got what we came for in the end, yeah? Plus this is a good lesson to never work without a pointman again. Forget about it Lou.” But Louis doesn’t ‘forget about it’ and the grumbling lasts until the world collapses in on them and they’re back topside, happy that despite their extractor’s in-dream ineptitude, he’d been competent enough to at least hang around and prevent unwanted guests from coming into the room.

Clean up is quick. Their extractor, Ben, carefully pulls the IV out of the mark’s arm, pulls off the used needle and reels the tubing back into the PASIV, waving off Louis and Zayn while he finishes clean-up. Zayn and Louis make their way down to the lobby and out of the hotel as inconspicuously as possible. They only have to avoid security once, Louis easily pressing Zayn against a wall and snogging him, letting the sounds get good an sloppy so the security people look away in embarrassment. 

"Learned that from Natasha Romanov did you?" Zayn quips, and gets only a grin full of teeth in return. 

It's only later, when they're lying in bed and coming down off the second high of the day that Louis holds Zayn's face in his hands and kisses him gently.


	10. Zayn: Road Trip

It had been months in the making, and more money than Zayn was sure he’d wanted to spend at the time, but seeing the road slide away under the tires, the white noise of the car's engine, the joy of isolation.

It had all been worth it. 

He missed his family, of course, and his friends; but he Skypes with them enough that it’s not a big deal.

The trip had been necessary because for two years he’d been creatively 'stuck' in his own head; unable to produce the simplest poem, the most basic sketch, the humblest photograph. Now he has an album full of photographs, a book of sketches, and pages of writing. The miles of barren road have let his brain reset itself, to let go of the anxious pressures of everyday and just be; uncritical and non-evaluating.

He pulls over to the side of the road on a barren stretch of highway somewhere in Montana and the open sky makes him want to pull his camera out. 

Instead he reaches for a new bottle of water, cleaning his hands and face and pulling a clean, thin, blanket from the back of the car. He checks his phone for Qibla, and under the cloudless sky sets down the blanket in the cleanest spot he can find. He removes his shoes and kneels. 

A large part of him misses his prayer rug, but he couldn’t stand the thought of it being dirtied by the places he'd wanted to pray in, despite his best efforts to make sure they were clean. It had remained at home in the safe arms of his family. The two things that had held him together while his brain frantically tried to work itself out. He feels like the change to praying five times a day during his travel is the least he can do to give thanks. 

He tilts his head to the sky and lets his mind empty, sighing at the silence and letting his body enjoy the clean air as he turns his mind to prayer.


	11. Zayn/Niall: Steampunk Pirates

Zayn’s never thought of himself as a damsel in distress, but he’s certainly gotten himself into a bit of trouble, and the trouble certainly resembles the scandalous poems and stories concerning rugged pirates that the ladies who worked in the kitchen had spoken about in quiet whispers. 

He’d only been doing his own work, carefully making breads and pastries and a living when he’d been picked up at gunpoint on the Lord Caldwell’s estate.

There’s clearly been a mistake, and if Zayn could let go of the mast long enough to find someone to explain it to, he’s sure he’ll be sent back. 

As it is, he’s trapped on dirigible 1500 feet in the air completely surrounded by pirates.

“You’re not lookin’ so good there. You realisin' that your past life is catching up to you?” Mentions a pirate, and Zayn has no idea what he’s talking about because Zayn’s entire goal is to live a quiet life. 

“I don’t know what you mean. I’ve never done anything?” and he sees the pirate about to taunt him again when the deck goes quiet. Emerging from below is the man that is clearly their captain, decked out in a vest and ostentatious shirt, he looks like a cad from the books Zayn’s read on the kitchen ladies' recommendation. 

“Captain! We’ve got our man!” A shout from the pirate that had previously garnered Zayn's attention.

Zayn watches as the Captain crosses the deck of the ship towards the mast that Zayn's been clinging to for the past hour and a half. The pirates hadn’t even tied him up, simply laughing at how terrified Zayn was, and knowing he wouldn't even think about moving around on the ship.

The captain stops in front of them and squints down at Zayn, shifting his weight. The speed of his fist lashing out and striking the man beside him makes Zayn jump.

“How do you fuckin’ idiots even live? Does he look like Lord Caldwell’s son? Jesus Christ Almighty, didn't even give you the dignity of tyin' you up.” He squints down at Zayn again, then grins a little.

“On the other hand, good work at pickin’ out a gorgeous bloke. Can’t spot rich ponces for shit but you manage to do something right,” The Captain leans down, ignoring how he'd clocked the other pirate cold, and carefully picks Zayn’s hand away from where it’s got a tight grip on the ropes around the mast. He presses a kiss to Zayn’s knuckles.

“Lovely to have you on board, dove. Lets get you sorted out,” and Zayn’s pulled away from the mast and into the man’s arms, flushing red and forgetting how high up he is.


	12. Zayn/Liam: Dog-Walker

“Oh!” And Zayn shouldn’t be surprised that one of the dogs managed to get loose, but it’s been months since it'd been a regular issue and he’d thought he’d managed to tie Tortellini’s harness tight enough. Apparently not, as the pug is already half-way across the park. 

The three other dogs that Zayn’s got on leash are all starting to pull now, aching to be just as free as the dog now bounding its way towards the fountain in the middle of the cobbled area marking the centre of the park. 

Zayn would love to run quickly after the puppy, but he knows that if he gets enough momentum going with three other dogs there will be no stopping them. Fountain time will result not only in four soaking wet dogs, but also a soaking wet Zayn.

“I’ll grab ‘im for you!” Comes a shout from his right, and Zayn watches as a businessman barrels after a blissful Tortellini. Zayn making his way after the both of them at a careful jog, watching as the man scoops up Tortellini on the tiny dog’s third attempt to jump the fountain wall.

“Thanks so much, mate," Zayn says. "I really appreciate it,” Tortellini keeps trying to lick the poor man’s face, and the dog's running means tiny grunt-y snorts and bulging eyes, making him look and sound more deranged than usual. The man takes the crazed licking like a champ.

“It’s no problem. I recognized you cause I see you come through the park all the time. Not that I’m like, stalking you or anything. I just, um, I just always see you with your dogs,” The man’s blushing and it’s really cute. Howitzer the bulldog is getting far too interested in his new shoes.

“It's nice to finally meet you then. I'm Zayn.” 

“Oh, um, Liam.” Liam's hand comes out to shake Zayn's and the pitbull (Cactus) takes the opportunity to lip and mouth at Liam's hand. It's good to know that three out of dogs seem to approve so far (Peony the great dane is too old to approve or disapprove of anyone).

“Would you like to come for coffee with me Liam? I know a good shop that lets dogs in?” Zayn puts on his most devastatingly expectant smile, and he watches Liam’s face light up bright red.

“Yes! That would be great.” 

Tortellini snuffles.


	13. Zayn/Liam: Weather-Mage

Liam knows that he shouldn’t be falling for the weather mage that saved his kingdom. He knows that Zayn has come out of a lifetime without his own will in order to save his sister. Liam is extremely aware of how lightly he needs to tread.

It’s getting extremely difficult to hide though. It seems like every time Zayn comes down from his tower to check the library, he simply gets more beautiful, mind and body. Liam wonders if it's because Zayn is slowly realising that aside from his promise to Liam to always keep the kingdom healthy (as well as visiting his sister in town), he has no ties to anyone or anything.

But Liam desires to ask more of Zayn beyond the promises already made. Liam knows that should Zayn say yes to his proposition there could be nothing more miraculous, for what could be more incredible than the loyalty and love of a man who had never before been free to give both?

Instead of acting on his desires, however, Liam goes into hiding for three days as he tries to create a plan of attack. He would have taken more, but an advisor manages to find him in the east wing armory and tell him that it’s been raining for three days and could he please talk to the weather mage?

So instead of strategising, Liam’s climbing the stairs to Zayn’s tower in the hopes of dragging Zayn out of whatever funk he’s in that’s powerful enough that it’s caused non-stop rain for three days. 

When he reaches the door to Zayn’s chamber, he knocks weakly on it, hoping that there’s no answer and that he can simply go back to his advisor and tell him that they’re all cursed again “no it will never stop raining Weatherby I’m so sorry” but there’s a moan from inside that sounds like “come in”.

Zayn’s chambers are exceptionally hot when Liam enters, and the man himself is tucked up in his bed, a huge duvet supplementing the roaring fire going in the fireplace. He's also got a sweet flush that Liam suddenly realizes only comes in sickness.

“Oh Zayn, why haven’t you called for a healer?” Liam is always quick to find purpose (quicker still to find an excuse to not talk about his current feelings), and has soup, wood, and more blankets called for in a flash. It takes but a moment to also get Zayn adjusted enough in bed to have him sitting up, and when Zayn asks for a handkerchief, Liam gives him the three he carries on his person. 

“I’m so sorry about this Liam. I’d meant to call you earlier but you’d disappeared and no one knew where you were,” Liam tries to ignore the stab in his cowardly heart.

“No it’s fine. I’d hidden myself away so I could think,” and Zayn should not look so concerned; should be concerned only with his health. 

“What did you need to think about Liam?” and Liam tries to busy himself with fluffing Zayn’s pillows as he puts together an adequate excuse for his recent actions.

“I’d been thinking mostly about you,” Gads. Liam’s put his foot in it now. He turns his head away towards the fire, but is forced to look back at Zayn when the man places his hand upon Liam’s.

“What about me?” and Zayn has the same look as Head Advisor Louis when he’s got his eyes on some prized information. Liam must find a way to keep the two apart. 

“I was simply thinking about… About you and I,” In for a penny, in for a pound. “About my desires to… deepen our relationship. Not that I would ever expect anything of you that you didn’t fully want,” he’s careful to make sure Zayn knows that Liam will respect his boundaries. 

It’s difficult to watch Zayn process the information, because Liam doesn’t know how this will turn out. There is some comfort, of course, in the fact that Zayn doesn’t look particularly uncomfortable with the idea. 

“Liam… I wish you hadn’t chosen this particular moment to discuss this, as I would like to kiss you now, but am concerned with the backlash I might receive if the Kingdom’s beloved liege came down with the sniffles.” Zayn gives a glowing smile and Liam’s heart lights up brighter than the first day of sun after the years spent living in the Drowning Kingdom. 

“I’m sure we can figure out an excuse,” Liam says. 

The kiss that follows has the rain stopping and the sunlight shining.


	14. OT5: Asexual Zayn

It’s amazing, really, the kind of inappropriate questions Zayn gets when his sexuality manages to become a topic of conversation. Asexuality? Really? That’s not a real thing is it? How does your relationship with your boyfriends survive without intimacy? 

Zayn sighs with happiness as he feels Harry’s long fingers thread through his hair. Niall and Louis had insisted on a scary movie marathon, but Zayn finds himself easily drifting off with his head pillowed in Harry’s lap and Liam’s hands drifting down every once in a while to dig his thumbs into the soles of Zayn’s feet. The pressure always sends shivers through his spine and has Zayn stretching like a cat. 

Half-way through the night, Liam and Louis switch places after Louis complains about feeling alone. Zayn finds himself pushed towards the edge of the couch as Louis slides in behind him, hands easily going under Zayn's shirt. Zayn enjoys the warmth they lend, as well as the kisses that Niall has been giving Zayn during the scarier parts of the film. Simple cheek kisses that Niall sometimes ends with a cheek to cheek rub that has Zayn laughing and Niall cursing his stubble, only to repeat the entire act over again ten minutes later. 

When the movies are over and there's popcorn over half the living room, they all fall into the same bed, Zayn finding himself tucked up between his boyfriends. 

There's warmth shared between all of them, one that will last until one or all of them wakes up from the heat of five bodies in the same bed, complaining about needing a bigger bed and a cool shower. Zayn's always gracious enough to ignore them shagging in the shower, but demands first shower because of it (sometimes he's joined just for the simple act of getting another person clean). He reads until his boys are done and tucked in beside him exactly the way they were before. 

Zayn’s doesn't think he’s missing out on anything.


	15. Zayn: Self-Love

Zayn loves his body; loves the sharp angles it has and his broad shoulders and sharp features and knobby knees. He likes looking at himself in the mirror and making silly faces and fooling about. 

It’s not self-obsession (he’s not sure he would care if it was), it’s just a good idea to appreciate one’s self; to acknowledge his body and what it does for him and to build up the confidence necessary to face the world.

Sometimes he likes to appreciate a softer angle to his body as well. The smoothness of freshly shaved legs, the drag of chapstick and a double round of rich body lotion, the feeling of a silk night gown. He loves jumping into a freshly made bed; warm and moisturised after a long bath. 

Sometimes he likes to smear thick eyeliner on, occasionally winging it out and being extremely impressed with how good a job he’s done with it. Sometimes he wants to throw the liquid liner at the mirror in frustration, desperate to call his sister for tips but knowing she’s asleep a thousand miles away. 

All of the time he follows up the liner with lipstick, admiring himself in the mirror after he’s put it on. 

‘It’s good to love every angle of yourself,’ Zayn thinks, before smacking a huge saucy kiss on the mirror, grinning wide.


	16. Zayn/Niall: CEO/IT nerd

“Are you feckin’ serious? Again?” Niall bumps his blank computer monitor with his palm, an act of a desperate man. He’s got a huge project to present to the board in four hours, and he doesn’t have time to deal with stuff like this happening. 

The computer in Niall’s 21st floor CEO office is one of the few computers in the entire company that has it’s own network. A network that’s highly securitized and which allows absolutely nothing to be placed in the cloud. Niall only has a memory key with documents from two hours ago, of course, and he can hear the haunting words of his year 8 technology teacher reminding him to back up his progress frequently.

“Feckin’ Mr. Morris,” Niall mutters as he tries to check all the cables in the back of the monitor. The CPU is still running, and Niall’s not sure if that means it’s just his monitor that’s totally fucked or if the problem is on the CPU side of the equation. 

He needs to phone IT. Hopefully they’ll be able to suss out the problem fast enough to get it sorted with enough time to spare.

He punches the numbers into the phone.

“Hello, IT Departement, what can we do for you today?” The low voice on the other side is Harry, one of the first hires under Niall’s new leadership. He’s an excellent relationship manager for the department, but Niall wouldn’t have him fix a Tamagochi, let alone a computer. 

“Hi Harry, I need someone competent and with a level 5 clearance code to come figure what happened to my computer. Screen’s gone all blank but the computer's still running. Not sure what end the problem is on, just need someone who knows how to keep their mouth shut about private information and who won’t electrocute themselves.”

“I’ll send someone up in a mo’. Also Louis is inviting you over for tea. Something about finding you a person to have loud and painful sounding sex with,” Niall nearly screams with laughter.

“Legend! I’ll text him. Talk to you later Harry.”

Niall steps away from his computer, not wanting to screw anything up beyond how it already is. He’s carefully watching his clock to make sure he’s not too tight for time, but he knows if the need arises, he’ll take what he has and show it to the board, it’s still complete enough to get sufficient feedback.

When the elevator dings ten minutes out from his call with Harry, Niall’s already up and out of his chair to open the door for whoever’s been sent to help. 

“Sorry to put the gears to ya’ but I have a meeting in four hours with the board and it would be great if y-” He stops in his tracks. Pushing a wheeled cart into the room is one of the most jaw-droppingly gorgeous and unprofessionally dressed people he’s ever seen. Long, lean lines are covered over by flannel and black skinnies, and an angular face is offset by black frames Niall usually only sees on hipsters. His hair looks soft enough that Niall wants to build a nest in it. 

Niall is fuckin’ hard as a rock.

“‘M Zayn. I’m here to fix your computer?” 

“Of course, come in Zayn. I’m not sure whether it’s just the monitor or whether there’s something more that needs to be fixed, but I’ll leave you to it. Gimme a second.” He tries to subtly adjust his dick as he goes to sit on the couch in his office. There’s far too much sensitive information on his computer for him to leave the room, much as he'd love to. The board would have his head if he left it unwatched while someone else was on it. Right now though his monitor isn’t working, so hopefully if this bloody gorgeous bloke’s a fake Niall might have enough time to trip over his own boner and then fall into him, stopping him with the sheer power of Niall's masculine musk.

He frantically texts Harry.

 _Niall_ : Gorgeous bloke named Zayn in my office.  
I want to do him

 _Harry_ : Well try and reel it in. Zayn’s new. Lovely bloke though. 

_Niall_ : Where did you find him????

 _Harry_ : Graduated Summa Cum Laude from MIT

 _Niall_ : haha cum  
So he’s brilliant eh? 

_Harry_ : He won’t sleep with you probably

Which is obviously not what Niall is angling for, except he is. 

“It’s all fixed Mr. Horan, just needed a monitor change. All your stuff is still there, although obviously I suggest backing up,” 

‘I want you to back up onto my dick,’ thinks Niall. “Thanks so much Zayn,” is what he says.

“Is there anything else I can do for you Mr. Horan?” 

“No thanks Zayn. Thanks so much for the quick work though,” Niall gets a quirked smile and nod. ‘I really want to have a fucked up amount of sex with you, although I would not be opposed to an actual relationship either even though I don't know you’ is in the wake of the lust he feels towards Zayn and Zayn's competency.

“Have a good day then sir,” and Zayn is gone with his cart and Niall’s old monitor.

When Niall sits back down at his desk, he glares down at his boner and reminds himself that’s it’s unforgivable to harass staff and that he has a project to do. The rest of the afternoon is a practice in desperation.

When Zayn turns up at Louis and Harry’s “Get Niall Laid Dinner Party”, Niall isn’t sure whether he wants to deck Harry or make out with him.


	17. Zayn/Harry: Batman AU

Harry's not usually out in the street this late, especially not in Gotham, but Dr. Isley had asked Harry to grab her a particular cactus out of the Gotham City greenhouse. Harry's pretty sure she was just hoping to get Harry out of the apartment before Ms. Quinn stopped by, but Harry's a good protege/quasi-adopted son, so he's here walking the streets with a cactus way later than he should be.

Harry’s pretty consumed with his thoughts of what to do if Ms. Quinn _hasn't_ left by the time he gets back, and misses the two punks that come sliding out of the shadows of the alley Harry's passing by (Dr. Isley would be disappointed. She'd been very stern in her lecture concerning paying attention to alleys).

"Look at this asshole, wandering around Gotham like he don't have nothin' to be scared of," the two troublemakers jeer.

Harry would love to be able to get home without having to maim someone. It doesn’t make him feel very good and Dr. Isley always tuts and seems angry with him when he's forced to do it, muttering about the fact that he shouldn't have to. Still, he reaches for a small vial of pheromones that his caretaker had tucked into his pocket before she'd sent him on his way. 

He’s beaten to the chase, however, when a dark figure drops from above, legs flashing out and knocking both men down for the count in one painful sounding kick. Harry yelps, although at this point he’s well acquainted with the criminal food chain, there are some things that never cease to surprise him. 

“Hi Zayn,” he manages, once his heart stops racing. The figure is decked out in skin-tight black jeans and a black hoodie that looks designer. The only concessions that Zayn has made to being the infamous Catwoman’s protege is the way the hood is shaped into two cat ears and the goggles that cover most of Zayn's face. 

Of course there’s a far more practical reason for the fashion choices, and when Zayn removes his goggles and reveals the slitted pupils of his eyes, it's a reminder of why Selina Kyle has taken him on. 

“Hi Harry. What’s got you out so late? I thought Ivy had you on curfew,” Zayn leaves the goggles hanging around his neck, and as they start walking down the street (ignoring the two men Zayn had taken care of), he removes the hood as well. Buried in thick black hair were two dainty cat ears, and as soon as Zayn sees the coast is clear, both of them are up and about, scanning the surrounding area for anything weird.

Harry is always unbearably charmed by them.

“She does, but Ms. Quinn was coming over tonight so I think she wanted me out of the apartment more than she cared about my curfew," Harry frowns into the distance "I don’t know why the two of them don’t just live together, everyone already knows they’re romantically involved. It’d make it easier on me if they could be together all the time, then there wouldn’t need to be any late night trysts,” Zayn snickers.

“Explains why you're out so late, but why this part of town?” Zayn blinks when he catches sight of the cactus Harry’s got in his hands. “Isn’t that the special new Miracle Cactus that was on the news earlier this week?” Harry nods. 

“At least you come by your plant thievery honestly,” Zayn says, before he curls his arm around Harry’s, careful not to jar his cargo. Harry likes when Zayn gets touchy feely, but he’s careful about returning it as Zayn is just as likely to run off as return it until they’re in a private space. 

“I’m just borrowing it. I’ll put it back as soon as Ms. Quinn comes over for another visit. Then I’ll have an excuse to stay out,” ‘and meet you again’ goes unspoken, but Zayn has a pretty good sense for that kind of stuff.

When the feeling of Zayn’s tail curling above his knee sends a shiver up Harry’s spine, he’s pretty sure his message was heard loud and clear.


	18. Pre-OT5: Falconry

Zayn is hard pressed to believe that not hours ago he’d been safely tucked in bed, awaiting his coronation at dawn of the next day. Now, he’s in soft wool trousers and a loose shirt barely covered with a great coat that had been hurriedly pressed into his arms by a maid as he’d been pushed towards one of the secret passages in the palace. The only thing that remains of his royal position are the two rose gold pins in his hair, representing the air and earth that Zayn was to rule over.

It’s slow work making his way through the forest, but he knows how hunting dogs work, so he’s been forced to travel through creeks and rivers until dawn, hoping to at least throw off their scent. He needs to be well away from the biplane airstrips before they’ve got enough light to launch them on a search mission. 

His feet are soaked through and he’s exhausted, but the piercing sound of a peregrine falcon makes him near sob with relief as he pulls his great coat on properly, allowing the bird to immediately settle onto Zayn’s arm.

“Liam, thank god. I’d heard from Ms. Duncan that they’d slaughtered the birds first,” Zayn places a gentle kiss on the bird’s head, running a gentle hand down Liam's back before allowing him to settle over the thick fabric on Zayn’s shoulder. Immediately, Liam attempts to preen Zayn’s hair, tapping irritatedly at the two hairpins when they get in his way, as if to say it’s their fault that Zayn is where he is. 

“Do you know where Louis, Harry, and Niall are?” Working with renewed determination, Zayn picks up his speed again, the slosh of the river around his boots spurring the desire to get away and get somewhere warm. The gentle nudge of Liam’s beak against his ear indicates Liam has no idea where the other three are. 

The two of them freeze when they hear the heavy step of something on horseback coming through the woods. Zayn has no weapon, but it’s easy enough to launch Liam in the air to check out the threat. Despite Liam's size, there's enough space between the trees that a few deft moves have him out of Zayn's sight.

It’s not even a moment when Liam comes back through the trees, easily swooping down and up to indicate the presence of a friend before landing on a nearby branch. Zayn’s not really sure which friends he might still have, but out of the bushes shoot a sharp-shinned hawk and a gyrfalcon at top speed, circling Zayn’s head before landing delicately to receive their kisses and to carefully preen Zayn. Zayn is beyond glad to see Niall and Harry still in good health, although Niall has received a small cut on his leg. He sticks it out to Zayn and Zayn places a gentle kiss above it for want of proper medical attention. 

Not a moment later, a horse appears out of the same trees, ridden by a small Merlin who’s sitting like a proud king on the pommel of the saddle. When Louis launches himself off, he ignores any kiss and instead heads straight for the pins, pulling one out of Zayn’s hair and throwing it on the ground as though it were rotten meat. When he goes for the second one, he’s interrupted by Zayn’s hands carefully grasping his wings around his body. 

“Enough Louis,” Zayn’s not sure how upset Louis is, but he accepts Zayn’s kiss with only a soft screech. Zayn launches him back in the air before retrieving the pin, brushing the dirt off before replacing it.

“I have no idea how you managed to find a horse and not get caught, but bless you for it,” Zayn says, easing himself up onto the animal. He needs to get to a train or a boat before news spreads that the coup was unsuccessful. Part of him wishes he could fly a plane, as it would have been much quicker to get out of the country. Hiding the four Royal Raptors is going to be far more difficult than simply putting a hat on to cover the pins. Speaking of…

“I don’t know who managed to get a hat onto the horse but well done,” he laughs, as he pulls the newsy cap onto his head, double-checking to make sure the pins are hidden under it. 

“Let’s get going before noon hits. I’d rather not have to explain to the police how I know the naked men who suddenly appeared in the middle of a busy street,” He nudges the horse into a trot, and Liam takes off again to fly as high as he can get to keep an eye out for trouble. The three others all scuffle for shoulders, before Louis climbs down the front of Zayn’s great coat to sulk on the pommel again. 

Zayn thinks his chances of surviving this are far better with these four in tow, even if he’ll have to figure out a way to get all of them clothes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for sticking with me through this. I really wanted to make something that was complete different than something I'd done before, as well as take advantage of a short fic format. 
> 
> I always love reading your comments so thank you!
> 
> If you like you can find me on my tumblr at regarklia.tumblr.com


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